Ever since Jaymi was probably around 6 or 7 years old, we have had a tradition called "Truth Mat".
It used to take place on a little flower-shaped mat, hence the name "Truth Mat", but it has since evolved into a random bedtime ritual, in the dark, usually with Jaymi facing away from me and me scratching her back. It is a time for an open, no-holds-barred conversation between us. It is a time when she can tell me absolutely anything, or ask me absolutely anything, in a completely safe place. Now that she is older, I think the darkness and her need to be facing her back to me makes it easier to talk about possibly uncomfortable topics.
The rules for Truth Mat have always been the same:
You HAVE to tell the truth.
You can ask anything that you can think of. Anything. No matter what. And it goes both ways - we take turns asking each other questions. I also remind her once in a while, that the coolest thing about being mother and daughter is that, I am a girl! I have been through the same stuff that she is going through or will go through. And I get it! And I can possibly help.
No one is allowed to say, "I don't know." You HAVE to come up with an answer, even if it means thinking for a bit before answering.
No one is allowed to get mad.
No one is allowed to judge.
No one is allowed to laugh at the other person.
This is a time to ask uncomfortable questions. This is a time to ask advice. This is a time to talk about problems with friends. This is a time to ask that question you have been wondering about. This is a time to confess things.
And because of the truth clause, it is also my chance to find out things that I want to know.
Some of the topics that have come up with our Truth Mat sessions, have been:
- puberty
- friends being mean
- trustworthiness
- peer pressure
- struggles in school
- feelings about ourselves
- cell phones & iPods
- inner voices
- thoughts of the future
- worries
- thoughts about God
I LOVE Truth Mat. We have had amazing conversations in Truth Mat. And Jaymi loves it too. She often asks to do it. And sometimes it can begin with a silly, non-important question, but it always leads to a great talk, and often the solving of a problem.
It used to take place on a little flower-shaped mat, hence the name "Truth Mat", but it has since evolved into a random bedtime ritual, in the dark, usually with Jaymi facing away from me and me scratching her back. It is a time for an open, no-holds-barred conversation between us. It is a time when she can tell me absolutely anything, or ask me absolutely anything, in a completely safe place. Now that she is older, I think the darkness and her need to be facing her back to me makes it easier to talk about possibly uncomfortable topics.
The rules for Truth Mat have always been the same:
You HAVE to tell the truth.
You can ask anything that you can think of. Anything. No matter what. And it goes both ways - we take turns asking each other questions. I also remind her once in a while, that the coolest thing about being mother and daughter is that, I am a girl! I have been through the same stuff that she is going through or will go through. And I get it! And I can possibly help.
No one is allowed to say, "I don't know." You HAVE to come up with an answer, even if it means thinking for a bit before answering.
No one is allowed to get mad.
No one is allowed to judge.
No one is allowed to laugh at the other person.
This is a time to ask uncomfortable questions. This is a time to ask advice. This is a time to talk about problems with friends. This is a time to ask that question you have been wondering about. This is a time to confess things.
And because of the truth clause, it is also my chance to find out things that I want to know.
Some of the topics that have come up with our Truth Mat sessions, have been:
- puberty
- friends being mean
- trustworthiness
- peer pressure
- struggles in school
- feelings about ourselves
- cell phones & iPods
- inner voices
- thoughts of the future
- worries
- thoughts about God
I LOVE Truth Mat. We have had amazing conversations in Truth Mat. And Jaymi loves it too. She often asks to do it. And sometimes it can begin with a silly, non-important question, but it always leads to a great talk, and often the solving of a problem.